Something's Missing - John Mayer

Hey all. I think I've figured out the reason the roommates and I don't get along. We're too different to mesh well together. The two girls are talkers, liberals in most ways, and generally kinda rude. The guy is no different, except he's quiet most of the time. I realized this in the car tonight on our way back from class. The girls were talking about weddings and how they wanted their weddings to be.

Let me say that I've never fantasized about weddings. At all. Period. And the few things I've thought about were merely practical; example - I don't want a ring that has a point, but this is only because Mom cut me with her diamond once, she says. I don't know if this makes me weird or what, but I just sat back and listened to what the girls were saying. Everything they said seemed so shallow. And both of them want to elope, which may be easy and cheap, but I wonder if later in life they'll regret that decision. I don't know. Sitting there I discovered that I want so much more out of life than an early marriage and to be consumed with what others think about me. Their thoughts on marriage seemed to be how to most easily get to that point, not on what they wanted or wanted for others, such as family and relations. I just can't imagine not having a wedding - I'd feel like I'd deprived myself and my family of the experience. And tonight, of course, my opinion didn't matter at all (not that I thought it would after months of them ignoring me and my opinions).

I can't wait until I'm on my own again. I need some rest from the ignorance of the world.

I also can't decide if I'm completely or only somewhat immature. I still care about what others say/think of me, but in some cases that's a good thing, such as with family. I also have to learn how to control my emotions better, but the medication seems to help a whole lot! So I don't know if maybe the girls are better prepared for the world by being self-centered, of if I'm screwed because I care.

I just don't know.

Bubbly - Colbie Caillat

So I've been through an entire week at school. It was okay; I should be okay for the semester. Nothing bad, and cal 2 is gonna be good, I think. The prof assigned us homework that actually had the answers in the back of the book, so I was able to see if I was doing things right (which I was, for the most part).

Went out with Ed's friend Teresa last night to a girls' night at Phoebe's apartment. Phoebe is cool because she's just as into Disney as I am. I even borrowed some of her DVDs - the ones I'm missing! One of her friends was kinda obnoxious, but overall I had a great time. Let me say, though, that "Legally Blonde, the Musical" is something you should watch when you wanna puke. Bad singing, and really bad songs.

Don't know what I wanna do today . . . check on my students to see how they did, write a paper for class, and pretty much just veg.

Mess - Ben Folds Five

It's the day before school starts - my last undergrad semester! I'm both excited and dreading this semester because, obviously, it's my last, but I also have Calculus 2 to do . . . again. *Sigh.* My schedule looks pretty good - I'm usually done by about 3:30 or so each day except for Tuesday, which is my one night class. I really, really hope that this all goes well, and that I'm not crazy by the end of the semester.

I start tomorrow night with teaching the verbal section for the Princeton Review - every Monday I teach for 2.5 hours over at TWU, a stone's throw from UNT. I'm a little nervous, but since tomorrow's only the introduction it should be pretty good and, with some luck, fun. I'm happy for the steady income of $20 an hour - woohoo! (That's $200 a month or more, with an expense account!) On top of that, I also have my tutoring job over at school, so there's more money/stress.

Still trying to clean up the house so that it's not a pig pen. Since we moved our desks and stuff into the study, it's been a mess trying to get the bedroom all put together again - lots of clothes everywhere, especially since we both just got back from home.

More later, but until then, have a great day!

"We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be." ~Jane Austen

The First

Hello, everyone!

This is something that I've done before, but haven't ever kept up on. Maybe this time it'll stick, eh? It's time that I start doing this, especially to let people know about the daily happenings in my life.

Wish me luck!